"Blooming Life"

When life has to change so that you can bloom, it is often a deeply laborious process and a state you would love to escape as fast as possible. But if you try to run, life's hand catches up with you in an instant, grabs you by the shoulder, and pulls you back to the start. This life here is not a game where you can cheat. You can dodge it for a while, but sooner or later, and who knows, maybe in the next life at the latest, it simply catches up with you again. Perhaps that is where the concept of intergenerational trauma comes from.

Engaging creatively with this topic brings me peace on the one hand, but frustrates me endlessly on the other. Every time I continued painting this picture, I felt like I was stepping into blockages every single second. Or rather, into something like a swamp. With wet, slippery, and muddy feet, I waded forward more poorly than well, asking myself questions and swearing about the whole situation.

My life is currently in a massive phase of restructuring. So much is slapping me right in the face. You let go of one thing, only to find the next item already lying on the supermarket conveyer belt in the very next second. Barely have you scanned and packed away one thing when the next item is practically ready to scan. And honestly, the only thing missing is someone asking: "Are you collecting points?" or "Do you have a loyalty card?"

I do not collect points, or "Märkli" as we sweetly call them in Switzerland, nor do I hold a membership card for any retail company. I simply do not believe in the discount principle.

In one of my recent blog posts, I spoke about the topic of Partswork, also known as IFS. IFS stands for Internal Family Systems, a renowned and highly respected psychotherapy model developed by Richard C. Schwartz. It is based on the idea that our psyche consists of various inner parts, like the inner child or protectors, and a central Self.

Through this work, you learn to get to know these inner parts to gain better access to all the facets of your being. Many of these parts are often still stuck in childhood experiences and are desperately trying to protect us. The goal is to gently build trust with them and relieve their burden, in IFS this is called unburdening. This allows them to realize that you are now an adult who can take responsibility, so they no longer need to constantly seize control.

For some time now, I have been deeply immersing myself in this process and exploring it through art. This is usually somewhat easier for me, as painting allows me to give visual life to unspoken or yet unheard things on canvas or paper. It lets me release that initial flood of emotions and inner chatter so that my mind can become a little quieter and lighter. It also has a calming effect on me. It is not for nothing that my studio slogan is "Slow Art for a fast Mind."

Engaging with this topic brings beautiful and incredibly valuable encounters with your own inner parts. At the same time, you get to know yourself so much better that you begin to question things, or temporarily feel worse because so much is working inside you. By the way, this is completely normal and, I would argue, a natural part of any deep inner work.

When you are right in the middle of the process, it is often actually a good sign. Even though I bet anyone currently stuck in it is shaking their head vigorously and rolling their eyes right now.

Yes, the Self is ultimately what you try to pull out from beneath all the parts that cover it up. The Self is not just another part of us; it is our core presence—the essence that lets us be fully with ourselves again. It might sound like a complex explanation, but it is a bit like meeting yourself again after years or even decades of absence, during which your inner parts somehow managed and navigated your life.

I am nowhere near the point of talking grandly about my Self, I am still right at the beginning. However, through this work, I have realized that it demands so much more of me than I ever expected to give in my life. The blooming life comes with a price. The price of courage, patience, and an immense amount of compassion for oneself.

And all of this should not be done with the hidden motive of "striving for happiness or a supposedly better life." Acceptance toward both sides might be the true secret ingredient in this brew. Can you accept your situation as it is and still continue to do the things that make you feel good, or simply be happy? In the first moment, you might think: "Yeah, sure!" And I am certain there are people for whom that comes easily. I would not count myself among them, although I was fortunately blessed with a generous dose of cheerfulness inherited from my family.

Cheerfulness, however, can also serve as a cover up that keeps you from actually looking closer. I call that something like "cheercover", haha. Yes, I am very close friends with my "cheercover". In any case, that is another piece of this grand puzzle.

So it is perhaps not surprising that creating, painting, and drawing in this context feels a bit tough now and then. It can bring whole oceans inside us to a boil, sending waves so high that we feel the pain even more intensely on the inside. And yet, there is that deep certainty that the water will calm down again and a quiet stillness will spread all the way to the ocean floor.

And so I throw myself into this water, into this sea, and let the storms pass over me. These feelings are now so beautifully reflected on the canvas, in the colors and brushstrokes that serve as my orientation along this path. For me, this is by far the most remarkable part of this work. IFS does not just ask things of you, it also gives back immensely.

And then, in these moments of pure being, you suddenly feel it: the blooming life within you. Because you are finally you again.

Thank you for reading along!

These posts are part of my artistic journey, sharing the stories behind the layers of paint.

If this glimpse into my work inspired you and you'd like to join me a little further on my path, you can support my studio work with a small contribution toward new paints or a creative coffee break. Just click the green link below.

Thank you so much for your support and interest!